Death surrounds me: Four-year anniversary of girl’s drowning brings more tragedy into family’s life
June 16th, 2010
http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2010/jun/16/death-surrounds-me-four-year-anniversary-girls-dro/
http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2010/jun/16/death-surrounds-me-four-year-anniversary-girls-dro/
Editor’s note: This tragic follow-up article was written by
Annette Kniola, a regular Community contributor and blogger on the Daily
News website. She wrote this as a blog entry the day after her story
about the four-year anniversary of her niece’s drowning appeared in the
newspaper on June 9.
Sitting here early this morning, I just wonder. Why am I so surrounded by the fate of the unknown: death. I have always been fascinated by death but when it continues to be so close to home, it becomes more and more painful.
With my great friend Susie Phillips’ passing two weeks ago, and another close friend Jerry Kent this past Christmas, memories of my niece Ivy’s death, it all seems to be too much.
If you had read the Community section in the Naples Daily News on June 9, it was the four-year anniversary of Ivy Rose Scholtz’s death. A picture of her parents, John and Mary Scholtz, were there in the paper holding Ivy’s photo, bearing the signs of grief. If truly has taken a toll on our family to lose a little angel.
In the four years since Ivy’s death, my sister Mary and her family have come a long way to get to the point where they have moved on, until last night, June 9th, on the anniversary of Ivy’s death, when she got a call.
The call came 10 minutes before my family arrived for a cookout at Mary and John’s house where we came to celebrate Ivy’s life as it is now, and as it was then. Mary was nowhere in sight and I asked her sister-in-law Dana where she was. She said she wanted to warn me before I go in the house that Mary’s oldest son, Wilson “Willi” Samuel Dethlefsen, had been in a serious motor scooter accident up in Madison, Wisc., where he lives.
Details about the accident were not yet clear other than the fact that he was thrown off and took a very serious hit on the head. He was not wearing a helmet when his front tire froze up and a nurse who happened to be following Willi saw the whole thing, called for help and was at his side where he lay unconscious. A medical helicopter rushed him to the hospital where surgery was needed immediately.
So we sat, in disbelief, reminding ourselves what this day, June 9th, meant to us. Now it’s Ivy’s older brother, my nephew, whose life was now in the hands of God. All we could do was wait and pray.
The hospital called again during our visit, asking Mary to get there as soon as possible. The outcome did not look good. She was beside herself and all we could do was console her and wait for any more news as Willi went through surgery. Willi’s girlfriend Rachel Faust was there beside him along with other family as they waited at the hospital.
My family left Mary’s by 8 p.m. and by 8:45, Mary called in hysterics telling me Willi is on life support and is brain dead. The bleeding on his brain never gave up, so the big decision was the inevitable. When do they let him go?
I kept reminding myself of the date. Why now, why today, how could this even be? This has become so surreal.
I went to Mary’s right away as my husband Dan stayed behind to put the kids to bed. I got there and she was way beyond hysterical. Screaming, “Why, why, how can this be, why me, what did I do wrong?”
All I could do is hug her and console her, I did not know what to do myself.
Her husband was there, along with Willi’s brothers Sammy, Spencer and Tyler, just wandering the house, practically numb.
Another call from the hospital came in shortly before 10 p.m.. They were waiting on whether they can keep his heart strong enough to keep him alive because Willi was an organ donor. With his heart so weak, they did not know if he would even survive that. I sat there in disbelief, constantly telling Mary it’s not her fault, there was nothing she could do at this point. Again, we waited.
With no call by 10:30, I went home to wait. By then I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but I laid there waiting for that call. I fell asleep and by the time morning came, I woke up and immediately checked to see if I missed a call. I did. Mary had called at 11:27 p.m. on my phone but didn’t leave a message.
I did not want to call so early, so I dressed the kids for school and decided to have them catch the bus at Mary’s house. When I got there, the worst had happened. Willi was dead. He went on his own to God at 10:21 p.m. Wisconsin time, 11:21 our time. Willi was 26 years old.
Exactly four years ago on June 9th, 2006, at 11:21 p.m., Ivy died. Please, tell me, how could this be? Was Ivy with him that very moment, that exact time? And why? This is the most and will be the most surreal story I have ever written. The tears are pouring from my eyes because I cannot bear the thought of Mary’s pain.
Is this a story of fate? And if so, why? Unfortunately, we will never know.
Rest in peace, Wilson Samuel Dethlefson. We love you.
Sitting here early this morning, I just wonder. Why am I so surrounded by the fate of the unknown: death. I have always been fascinated by death but when it continues to be so close to home, it becomes more and more painful.
With my great friend Susie Phillips’ passing two weeks ago, and another close friend Jerry Kent this past Christmas, memories of my niece Ivy’s death, it all seems to be too much.
If you had read the Community section in the Naples Daily News on June 9, it was the four-year anniversary of Ivy Rose Scholtz’s death. A picture of her parents, John and Mary Scholtz, were there in the paper holding Ivy’s photo, bearing the signs of grief. If truly has taken a toll on our family to lose a little angel.
In the four years since Ivy’s death, my sister Mary and her family have come a long way to get to the point where they have moved on, until last night, June 9th, on the anniversary of Ivy’s death, when she got a call.
The call came 10 minutes before my family arrived for a cookout at Mary and John’s house where we came to celebrate Ivy’s life as it is now, and as it was then. Mary was nowhere in sight and I asked her sister-in-law Dana where she was. She said she wanted to warn me before I go in the house that Mary’s oldest son, Wilson “Willi” Samuel Dethlefsen, had been in a serious motor scooter accident up in Madison, Wisc., where he lives.
Details about the accident were not yet clear other than the fact that he was thrown off and took a very serious hit on the head. He was not wearing a helmet when his front tire froze up and a nurse who happened to be following Willi saw the whole thing, called for help and was at his side where he lay unconscious. A medical helicopter rushed him to the hospital where surgery was needed immediately.
So we sat, in disbelief, reminding ourselves what this day, June 9th, meant to us. Now it’s Ivy’s older brother, my nephew, whose life was now in the hands of God. All we could do was wait and pray.
The hospital called again during our visit, asking Mary to get there as soon as possible. The outcome did not look good. She was beside herself and all we could do was console her and wait for any more news as Willi went through surgery. Willi’s girlfriend Rachel Faust was there beside him along with other family as they waited at the hospital.
My family left Mary’s by 8 p.m. and by 8:45, Mary called in hysterics telling me Willi is on life support and is brain dead. The bleeding on his brain never gave up, so the big decision was the inevitable. When do they let him go?
I kept reminding myself of the date. Why now, why today, how could this even be? This has become so surreal.
I went to Mary’s right away as my husband Dan stayed behind to put the kids to bed. I got there and she was way beyond hysterical. Screaming, “Why, why, how can this be, why me, what did I do wrong?”
All I could do is hug her and console her, I did not know what to do myself.
Her husband was there, along with Willi’s brothers Sammy, Spencer and Tyler, just wandering the house, practically numb.
Another call from the hospital came in shortly before 10 p.m.. They were waiting on whether they can keep his heart strong enough to keep him alive because Willi was an organ donor. With his heart so weak, they did not know if he would even survive that. I sat there in disbelief, constantly telling Mary it’s not her fault, there was nothing she could do at this point. Again, we waited.
With no call by 10:30, I went home to wait. By then I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but I laid there waiting for that call. I fell asleep and by the time morning came, I woke up and immediately checked to see if I missed a call. I did. Mary had called at 11:27 p.m. on my phone but didn’t leave a message.
I did not want to call so early, so I dressed the kids for school and decided to have them catch the bus at Mary’s house. When I got there, the worst had happened. Willi was dead. He went on his own to God at 10:21 p.m. Wisconsin time, 11:21 our time. Willi was 26 years old.
Exactly four years ago on June 9th, 2006, at 11:21 p.m., Ivy died. Please, tell me, how could this be? Was Ivy with him that very moment, that exact time? And why? This is the most and will be the most surreal story I have ever written. The tears are pouring from my eyes because I cannot bear the thought of Mary’s pain.
Is this a story of fate? And if so, why? Unfortunately, we will never know.
Rest in peace, Wilson Samuel Dethlefson. We love you.
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