My Love Runs Red


What a whirlwind of my life in this past year.  I find myself in an interesting place in which I find the love that ran so red, seems to be turning into something running in a whole different direction, and I cannot put my finger on as to why?  It seems to be fading and fading rather quickly.  Unfortunate by all means.

I see myself as a very strong, happy -go -lucky sort of individual in which sees life as grand and wants to try to live life to it’s fullest.  I’ve enjoyed the blissful times of marriage, the priceless gift of children, to the holidays, family, and friends.  Life is a wonderful blessing and I make sure I appreciate all that is handed to me.   But there are times when things turn into something unexpected and unfortunate and that seems to be the reason I am writing to you today.

Honestly, I don’t know how to go about writing this.  I am beginning to feel looked upon quite differently in my world and I don’t know how to handle it.  Now that I have divorced and looking and feeling much healthier, it seems my exes family have become distant, and some close family and friends seem to be acting or saying things that they never would have said before. A stone has turned.  Now they seem to try and make me miserable with comments and jabs that are endless.  And honestly, I don’t even think they realize they are doing it. This puts me in a place where my love no longer runs so red. It’s beginning to bleed.

So what did I do?  I have even asked other friends if I have changed.  Am I different?  The answer is no.  I am still that modest humble self and I always will be.

So is it jealousy?  Is it because I am no longer married and my life could be a bit envious to others?  They see a sense of freedom everyone cherishes so much?  What, now I can’t enjoy it?  They say they are just looking out for what’s best for me.  But that makes no sense.  I just see it as trying to break me down.

Yes, I am in a world completely opposite of a world bound by marriage.  I have no one to have to worry about, I have no one to deal with everyday, I have nothing but my boys and freedom.  It’s an amazing feeling.  I have met new friends along the way, and many have shown me alot of laughter, and many a whole new outlook on life.

I have to admit, I have been enjoying my freedom and beginning to travel more. Got that passport right after the divorce. Jumping at any chance while I can to travel, as long as I can afford it. Enjoying the travel and great memories that lie ahead for me.

Wouldn’t you do the same?.

So let me enjoy what I have now.  I am happy, so let me be happy.

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